"The Gift of Truly Meeting Ourselves and Others"

                     

"You, and everyone and everything that ever existed are the Love that                      gives birth to all. Once you know this, the idea of Loving Yourself and                                                           Others will pale in comparison"

In my last post “How to Access the Human Heart”, I talked about how our connection to the Human Heart can lead us to our Spiritual Heart. Those humans who have experienced an Awakening, (for more on what an Awakening is, please go to “What does a Spiritual Awakening Feel Like?”) they have been catapulted in some ways straight into the Spiritual Heart but even those humans often need reminders on how to keep the Human Heart open, as even they can get lost in the confusion of how to live as spiritual beings within the human life. Even for them it is often difficult to realize that living from a place of Spirit is not to renounce that which makes us Human. In fact to fully embody the Spirit means to come full circle to the Heart of what it IS to be Human.
As mentioned in my last post, as humans beings we develop certain conditionings and these conditionings lead us to thought formed images of ourselves. These images can either build us up or bring us down. However, a thought formed image of ourselves, whether positive or negative, has absolutely no reality in it whatsoever. Yes, the positive images feel better from a human perspective of things but they are really just one side of the same coin. Our thoughts are just stories that we tell ourselves, based on our conditionings.

Whatever image we operate from, whether it's one of "I am beautiful", "I am ugly", "I am hard working", "I am lazy", "I am a great Mother", "I am lousy husband", "I am a liar", "I am an Earth Loving Goddess", "I am a jock", "I am nurturing", "I am hip", "I am young", "I am old", "I am an artist", "I am a Masters' Graduate", they are simply thought produced images that we have become addicted to in order to protect ourselves from vulnerability. Think of it this way. If you are a man in his 20's you may perhaps have an image of yourself as a fit, trendy young man who takes good care of himself. Now living up to that image takes a lot of work. You may have to go to the gym 5 days a week to keep up the image of being fit. You may have to make lots of money to spend on clothes that appear trendy and expensive. You meet someone and have to do all you can to keep up the image that you are in fact what your partner was looking for. Under all that, deep underneath, you actually may believe that you are unworthy, and so you work extra hard to keep up the image of perfection. Whoever meets you is not really meeting YOU, they are meeting the image you have of you...

On the flip side, you may be a woman in your 50's who has an image of herself as a very weak, vulnerable person. You may not want to be this way, but you hold yourself hostage to that image and in fact wok very hard to protect it. You don't often give out your opinion, for fear that you will be ridiculed. In fact, acquiescing to others actually manipulates others into liking you, for an ego loves nothing else than another ego who will bend over backwards to serve the need of the other. Whoever meets you is not really meeting you, they are meeting the image of you and you of them. Our meeting each other is then only as fickle as the images that we work so hard to protect.

Usually unconsciously, we fiercely believe these images and the roles we play as they serve as protection against vulnerability and ultimately, rejection. They are our armour against. a mind conceived onslaught of humans against humans. One of the biggest needs that humans have is the need for acceptance and belonging and we will go to great lengths to fulfil that need. For a more detailed account of this very subject, Psychologist, Brene Brown, has some wonderful books that talk about the research and personal experiences of our fear of vulnerability and fear of rejection. Some of these are "The Gifts of Imperfection", and "Daring Greatly", as well as her latest, "Rising Strong".

The reason we mould ourselves into the images that we believe will protect us is because when alone with our own thoughts, we believe them when they whisper "You are not enough". Sometimes it's not a whisper at all, sometimes it's a thunderous roar... We don't believe that just our existence itself means we are worthy and loveable. We believe that we have to "be" something in order to have value. We believe that we have to "prove" our value to ourselves and those around us. I want you to really hear when I say that;

"There is nothing you have to do, be or say to be worthy...it doesn't matter what acts you have committed... and it doesn't matter what acts you have not and think you should have... you have value just because you ARE... Your existence in and of itself is the proof of the pure Love and Goodness that is Life Itself".

To allow people to meet us, rather than the image of us, is a gift of huge proportions. However, first, we have to meet ourselves and see that;

"Who we are is beyond the images, good or bad. Who we truly are is focal points of energy that are part of the whole of the Universe and Beyond. We are that which created the Universe and Beyond. We could not be any more perfect, or any more LOVE than we are. In fact, we are beyond Love, we are that which created it..."

Now here comes the paradox of it all. We are not the images we create, but it is only in giving the images our human attention and focus, that we can recognize when we are operating form a place of those images. That is how you access the Human Heart. You notice when you are operating from a place of image. This is all you have to do...  

The question is not "How do I access that which I truly am?" the question is "When am I accessing that which I am not?". After counselling many people throughout my career as a Registered Clinical Counsellor, as well as speaking to friends and family, I can tell you that you know when you are speaking, acting, or reacting from a place of image. On a deep level, humans know when they are acting from a place that is not authentic. Our inner sense, or that which we call intuition, knows. This is not always a knowing on a level of intellect, it is on a sense level.

The first thing I encourage you to do is to investigate within yourself what these images are for you. Please remember that these images are not in and of themselves good or bad. They simply just are. We are not to investigate for the purpose of judgement, but simply for the purpose of recognition.

Once you are clear on what the images are, the next step is to simply ask yourself when you are operating from a place of these images. If you think of yourself as unattractive, and find yourself in front of the mirror for 2 hours in the morning applying your make-up and doing your hair as you get ready for work, just notice that. If you stand at the checkout at the mall and comment on the salesman's nice tie, notice if this is genuine or if you were playing a role of "see how nice and attentive I am?". If you are taking a walk with a new friend and they say they bake their own bread and you reply "Me too!" just a little over-enthusiastically because you want her to think you too are super cool for baking your own breads, notice that too (yes, I truly did this!)

Accessing your Human Heart means being present to each moment with deep awareness. However, when it comes to our deeply ingrained images that we have formed due to our conditionings, it can be beneficial to investigate about these images. To give space to ourselves to ask questions and see where these images act themselves out in our lives. Sometimes a Counsellor, a Psychologist or Life Coach who has a deep awareness of thought formed images and insight into the spiritual beings that we are, can be of help to guide you on your journey. I love to write, so the space for me where I can access any thought formed images is often found with a pen and paper. I can easily spend 4 hours in a coffee shop deep in awareness of my humanity and all that it entails. For you, this process may be painting or walking in nature. I have often had clients paint pictures of the images they hold of themselves and then through inquiry paint another one that accesses what they are without the images. Spiritual teacher, Adyashanti, calls this kind of questioning "Inquiry". It is about asking questions all the way to the edge of a thought. This means that you ask the questions (whether about your thought formed image or anything else) until you come to the edge of no more questions. We often ask the questions, find some answers and then loop back around to the same questions, going around and around in circles. Adyashanti proposes that we come to the edge of the thought and then let it go. Please be gentle with yourself with this process.

You may also find that you are able to give space to the inquiry itself but then find yourself laying awake at night thinking "Oh No! When I said such and such today, I was operating from a place of image and didn't even realize it!". This is all good. The recognition of when you are operating from a place of image in the moment takes time, even if intellectually you are giving space for inquiry and investigation. Remember, this is about opening your heart to a deeper knowledge and a deeper knowing. Whether the knowing comes in the moment of a situation or after is not important. Just recognize the knowing when it comes. It may come full blast in the moment or just as an inkling and a recognition later that day or even weeks, or months later. However it presents itself, open your heart and sit with this knowing... again, not in judgement, but in recognition...

Once we have some awareness of our thought formed images, we then have the information needed to catch ourselves when we operate from a place of untruth. As I already mentioned, this may not always be in the exact moment of it happening. Even if on a human level we recognize the moment is or was filled with insincerity, need, or greed, we have taken one step closer to the ultimate truth of who we are because we have become aware of the truth of the moment as it is or was from a place of our humanity. Accessing your Human Heart is also to notice when feelings come up in regards to those images. Locate where the feeling is in your body and allow yourself to grieve your human condition and also to rejoice in it.

Accessing your Human Heart is to allow yourself to see the truth of any moment from your deepest sense of humanity. If in that moment, your human self is feeling sadness, then feel that. If your human self is feeling anger, feel that too. To have insight and information (through self awareness and inquiry) about how you protect the thought formed images of yourself, awareness of when you are acting from these images on a moment by moment basis, and permission to allow  yourself to feel whatever comes up, is the only way to open to your Human Heart and then to that which is not only beyond the human self but paradoxically that which comprises and gives birth to the human self.

"Our deep awareness of the imperfect moments of being Human, is to lay perfection upon our Humanity. This awareness will ultimately lead us to unfurl ourselves from the tangle of our thoughts and to lay Love upon the tangled mess. Our awareness of the truth of a moment is the ultimate act of Love for ourselves and anything else that exists..."

To access the Human Heart means to start with your own, for only then will you be able to open your heart to that of another. Once you begin to practice the art of presence in the moment and the art of accepting the moment as it is for you, only then will you be able to accept the moment as it is for others. To accept the moment as it is for you and others is the ultimate act of Love...

As always, Thank You for allowing me to share myself with you... thank you for being the Love that you are... Although I may not meet most of you... thank you for sharing with me this beautiful journey of being Human...and Beyond ...

Much Love and Blessings to you all,

Izabella